Rich Morris' Comics - YAFGC and The ComixBlog

I fully credit my wife, Nynaeve's player. Our DM at the time had a rule that any cutscene that didn't affect one's character sheet was not only the players' perogative, but sharing the stories after game sessions might result in bonus XP awards. We wrote some amazing stuff together for that game world, and fell in love amidst the sessions.

Perfect !

And yet some people thought it was vaguely annoying when I made such a deduction regarding BK and DM.

Strangely enough, most of the stable marriages I know of in my generation involved RPGs at some level. Maybe because we get a grasp on who the other people at the table really are and can watch them in various situations.

Well, no - I got a bit squicked out when it was implied that we somehow got together because Tambid and Vanessa got it on. That kind of merging of game and reality leads to Bad Drama more often than not. BK and I were dating before I ever gamed with him, and we've had plenty of characters who disliked each other.

Probably helping to prove the second part of my last post.

Too bad there's a decided dearth of feminine type gamers out here. Any gamers, really. Unless you count paintball.

No no no, it is just perfect! We like it that way! Less competition!

What damn competition? The only two female gamers around here are about thirteen.

Hopefully this will give the gamerboys some hope for the future...
Our groups have always had a fair turnout from the estrogen set. And I even ran a FVLMINATA (Imperial Rome, but with gunpowder!) game where all 3 of my players were female (and there are some stories there I can tell you!)
I also ran a King Arthur Pendragon campaign where I had 1 male player and 3 female players (only one of 'em carried over from FVLMINATA), plus one or two female players who nearly joined in the fun, but didn't actually get around to it.
I even married my best player, and she's a woman!

They're out there, my friends. They just need some respect and encouragement.

And NOT treated like date bait or, really, anything except another player at the table. I have fled from games where the other (male) players all stared at me as I sat down, like starving hyenas on the serengetti...

There is just nothing attractive about gamer desperation.

Is DM aware of this???

I think so, I'm sure I saw her at the wedding.

Desperate people, I tend to think, are ugly no matter what the setting. It's a certain kind of extreme social immaturity combined with a nasty predatory angle -- they look at you and you can see in their eyes, "Oooh, look, a potential instrument of my will has arrived!" It makes any "kindness" or "consideration" shown immediately suspect, and casts rudimentary friendliness in a creepy light. Even one creep in a group of otherwise good-intentioned gamers can make the group decidedly uncomfortable, especially if the other gamers don't police the bad apple effectively.

Having a Y chromosome, I never experienced sexual predation in a gaming circle, but...well, I was the player with the income, and the car, and in time, "You have money and we don't" became an excuse to expect me to buy the DM every new book he wanted, and to buy fairly elaborate spreads of snacks every week for the players. There were elements of the phony friendship and the constant pressure to "help a brother out," and many friendships badly soured from it. The feelings of being used and being kept around in the hopes I'd "put out" fiscally were similar to what I imagine female gamers endure in less enlightened gaming circles.

I always find it a little surprising when people talk about how hard it is to find female gamers, because most of the gamers I know are women, though it's closer to fifty-fifty when I take into account my entire sphere of moderate-acquaintanceship. I never noticed a gender bias in my gaming circles past junior high school.

I'm sure the ratio is a little more even realistically, or would be, but a lot of women are pushed out or chased out by inappropriate behaviour and 'boy's club' mentality.
I myself am responsible for introducing at least 5 girls into the hobby in my earlier days. I have no idea how many of them stayed with it, but from DM's experience and accounts I can see why many would give up and find some less uncomfortable groups to hang with.

What I've found interesting is the vast disparity in gender ratios between table top and online gaming. The vast majority of PbEm/Journal RPes are female, maybe as an extension of fanfic. Or maybe the internet helps the one girl in every small town with one game store that smells like cheese find kindred spirits in the other small towns across the globe. Either way, it's pretty much an exact reversal of what I used to see in the 80s/90s in tabletop gaming - gangs of women with one or two token males.

I did a study on female representations in rpg art way back in 98... I should do an update someday, in my copious amounts of spare time.

There was just a news article this weekend on this, with..Everquest players? Females spend more time gaming daily, and provide equal total hours as male gamers despite being fewer in number. There were hints that they tend to have some of the more senior characters in in-game organizations as well.

They were also the furthest off in the 'guess how many hours you spend on-line each week' game. They averaged 10-12 hours as a guess, but actually averaged 29 hours playing the game. (Guys were only about 8 hours off--suggesting they're more scheduled in their time usage).

As for the situation around here, the gaming population drops off sharply once they're old enough to be allowed access to the paintball field. Teenagers prefer fresh air and sunlight. Who knew?