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 Post subject: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:51 am 
Minotaur
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Okay so i have no idea where this story is going, im literally making it up as i go along!

It features the 8th Doctor and his companion from the Big Finish audio range, Charley Pollard.

Any ideas on a title will be greatly appreciated.

Mass

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:51 am 
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“Hold on tight! The chrono-buffers are failing!” The Doctor yelled as the central console of the TARDIS exploded in a shower of sparks, its trademark wheezing began to sound more laboured than usual.

“Doctor!” cried Charley, “What’s happening to the TARDIS?”

The Doctor jabbed frantically at the controls and pulled levers, desperately trying to stabilise his Time-Space machine. He turned and tried to flash his companion a reassuring smile. It wasn’t very convincing.

“The old girl’s just run into a bit of temporal turbulence. It should have been cancelled out by the chrono-buffers but she must be having an off day!”

Another explosion rocked the console chamber, furniture flew across the room and books tumbled off of shelves.

“Oh those were first editions! Mary will not be pleased if her signature is creased…”

“Not to appear rude Doctor, but we can worry about your books later, a chair just nearly took my head off!”

Charley stumbled, grabbing out a guard rail and crashed to the floor. The TARDIS was steady at last. She couldn’t help but read the look on the Doctor’s face as bewildered yet smug.

“There, we’ve landed. Easier than I expected actually.” He grinned.

“You had nothing to do with it, she’s done an emergency response landing.” Charley retorted, climbing to her feet and dusting off her dress.

“Perhaps, but the main question is why did the TARDIS consider it an emergency? Normal turbulence is expected in the vortex, that’s why the buffers cancel it out, no… I think we were in a near miss…”

“Another TARDIS?”

“Possibly, but it would register on the scanner…”

Puzzled, Charley enquired “Who else has time technology?”

“A number of races really, the Time Lords keep an eye on them, keep them in check, but sometimes they get a little big for their boots. The Monan Host, for example, like to push the limits.”

“So you think it’s a Monan craft?”

“I hope so.” The Doctor said darkly, “I really hope so…”

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:00 am 
Minotaur
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Night was drawing in and G’ron was heading home with the days kill. He could already taste the hot, cooked flesh of the Orabeast and smacked his lips in anticipation. He wore the blood of the animal with pride, this was his first kill of the new season and was eager to show the elders of his village that he could be responsible for their hunt.

His ears pricked up as he heard the rustling in the trees. The path he walked was well worn and oft used by his tribe. He slowly lowered the animal carcass and drew his blade.

“Show yourself!” He roared into the darkening woodland. “This is my kill, you may not claim it!”

G’ron did not have the language for what happened next. His final thought as he hit the ground and let out a breath for the last time was “Burning pain”.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dust began to swell and leaves were kicked up as the wind began to swirl around a slowly forming blue object. Eventually, the tall box fully materialised with a loud THUNK!

The door squeeked open and out into the night air stepped a tall man wearing a dark blue Victorian frock coat with shoulder length dark curled hair, afterwards stepped his companion dressing a smart Edwardian costume with a jacket and brooch. She brushed some strands of her blonde, bobbed hair from her eyes and stepped forward to smell some flowers growing nearby.

“Oh Doctor, they smell beautiful! All these trees and fields, completely unspoiled! Where are we?”

“I’m not entirely sure really. We WERE heading for San Francisco in the year 2000… I was going to introduce you to an old friend. I’d love to tell you where we are now but the TARDIS circuits took a bit of a beating when we were thrown off course.”

She let out a laugh.

“Doctor, when do you ever know where the TARDIS is going to land?”

The Doctor tried to reply, but could not find the words, eventually plumping for a heavy sigh of defeat.

“Okay, so maybe I don’t have full control of her, but she has a nose for where I need to be.”

“So we’re going to be dashing into action again soon?” said Charley, placing her hands firmly on her hips.

“You know me Charley, I never go looking for trouble.” And with that, he started off through the grass.

“But you always seem to find it.” Muttered Charley, before following.

***Edited as per Mreen's suggestion***

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Last edited by Mass on Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:28 am 
Puce Guardian
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So far so good, but I'd have to read more before I start winging title suggestions at you. :mrgreen:

One note - "Pain burning like fire" is an awfully long/stretched out last thought. Unless he fell really slowly. Maybe remove the quote marks and just say his final thought as he fell was that the pain burnt like fire? Or if you are attached to the quotes "Burning pain."
(Just a suggestion)


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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:40 am 
Minotaur
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It was a quiet night, as was usual. The village perimeter had double the amount of men on guard tonight after G’ron’s body was discovered. His brother, Pk’ron, was one of these guards. He stood at his post with murder on his mind. He could still hear his mothers cries for her lost son from within the village and silently vowed to avenge his brother.

The brush ahead began to rustle and Pk’ron raised his spear. “Out!” He barked.

“Relax…” said the taller one as two intruders stepped out of the treeline. “There’s no need for weapons, we’re unarmed.”

“Who are you? Why have you come?” The warrior jabbed his spear forward with each question.

“We happened here quite by chance.” The smaller one spoke, her voice softer in tone than the taller one.

Pk’ron did not want to listen to these strangers anymore and let out a high pitched wail, a call to his fellow warriors. The Doctor and Charley grabbed their heads in pain.

“Doctor, what is he doing? My ears!” Charley was nearly in tears at the sound.

“Defense mechanism! Immobilise the enemy until backup arrives!” The Doctor shouted, praying she could hear him. He grabbed at her wrist! “RUN!”

They bolted off back through the woods as Pk’ron screech began to subside. The Doctor could hear more footsteps were audible behind them, his reinforcements must have arrived.

“I cant hear anything!, I’ve gone deaf!” Charley panicked behind him.

“Don’t worry, it will return in time. It’s meant to stun, not cause permanent damage.” He tried to explain before remembering she could not hear. Instead he pointed ahead, the TARDIS stood in the meadow, illuminated by the light of the moons.

Swinging the door swiftly shut behind them, the Doctor could hear the noise of spears hitting the wooden exterior.

“Oh my lovely paintwork… I hope they don’t damage you old thing.” He mumbled as he toyed with the controls. “Charley? Charley can you hear me now?”

“Yes… just about” she replied, shaking her head clear. “My sense of hearing is returning now.”

“That’ll be the TARDIS. She has certain regenerative properties. Normally that’s reserved for Time Lords only, but I think she has a soft spot for you.”

“Well I thank you!” Charley bellowed out to no-one in particular.

The Doctor chuckled. “You don’t need to shout… she can hear you. Now! Let’s see where we are then?”

“Are the circuits repaired? We weren’t gone very long.” Charley peered over the Doctor’s shoulder to get a better look.

“She’s a quick worker. Here we go…. Planet Gryn’ll… a good hundred thousand years in the past relative to you Charley. As I recall in civilised times it sells a a lovely fried chicken… well, whatever the Gryn’llen equivelant of a chicken is anyway… What say I treat you to a spot of lunch Miss Pollard?

“I would be delighted Doctor.” They shared a smile and a laugh and engaged the time rotor….

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:25 pm 
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Obviously we can supply better titles as the story develops - but at the moment what pops to mind is:

Tastes Like Chicken

:mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:50 am 
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You know what,, considering the ideas ive had as to where the story could go, thats not a bad title at all right now...

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:31 am 
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The TARDIS matrialised in the same spot it had previously, yet the years had changed its location dramatically. The lushous green field had been replaced by rubble and decayed buildings. As Charley stepped out she witnessed first hand the effect that time can truly have on society.

“How far forward have we come?”

“Around seventy thousand years or so. But this isn’t right… the Gryn’llens should be thriving right now. Something truly dreadful has happened. Time shouldn’t be this way.”

The Doctor began to explore the ruins pausing at a dark patch on one of the crumbling walls.

“This is a blaster scorch… some kind of energy beam hit here. Look, see the dispersal pattern?”

Charley could see the mark alright, but couldn’t tell what had made it.

“Doctor, you said time had been thrown off course, could it be anything to do with the temporal disruption we felt?” She offered.

The Doctor stood tall and clasped his hand to his forehead.

“Yes of course! Oh you stupid, stupid Doctor! Thank you Charley, for showing an old fool to open his eyes! It all makes perfect sense now! The turbulence wasn’t a craft passing us, no… it was a craft landing at the same time as us. The two must have occupied the same temporal co-ordinates for a brief moment and been drawn down together.”

“So whoever we collided with was also on Gryn’ll back then too. If they were unable to leave, perhaps they were responsible for all this?”

The Doctor had walked back to the TARDIS and was pulling out the spears that had been embedded in the wooden exterior.

“I think you were right earlier Charley. It looks as if we are going to be dashing into action again.”

Following him back inside Charley replied “I hate to say I told you so…”

“You have no idea how many times a Time Lord hears that phrase…”

And with that, the TARDIS disappeared once again.

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:46 am 
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Pk’ron hung his head as he walked back through the brush. He had let the strangers escape. He was sure they were the ones responsible for his brothers death! He felt such same inside, he dare not face his family until he had gotten vengeance.

He and his fellow warriors vowed not to mention the magic they had witnessed in the clearing, the hut they had chased the strangers into and how it had vanished into thin air. Some had thought them gods and were fearful they had chased them away, but not Pk’ron. He was not afraid.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The TARDIS landed once again in the same spot. The door slowly creaked open and a thin wooden pole with a white handkerchief tied to is poked out. From inside the Doctor’s voice called out.

“Hello? We’re unarmed. Don’t throw any more spears! I don’t have very much paint left!”

A few seconds of silence convinced the Doctor he was safe. He peered out of the doorway and checked the coast was clear.

“I think we’re safe now. Let’s look around and see if we can find that other ship.”

He and Charley left the TARDIS and quietly walked in the opposite direction they had before. “Don’t want to run into the tribesmen again” the Doctor had rationalised.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pausing to take a drink from the lake, Pk’ron thought about his options. He could return home and face his family in shame, or he could keep walking and hope to find a new tribe that would take him in. Plucking some berries from a nearby bushel, he decided to sleep on it and ank the morning sun gods.

Settling down into some soft grass he closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep.

However, it was only a matter of minutes until his slumber was broken by the arrival of something he had never seen before, and only then did he realise that he was staring at the face of his brothers true killer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Charley, do you notice anything strange about this wood?” The Doctor asked as they continued their walk.

“Not really… it is awfully quiet though.”

“That’s it. It’s quiet. Normally at night you would hear insects chirping or noctural animals foraging, but there’s just dead silence.”

Charley shivered.

“Oh Doctor, I do wish you wouldn’t use that word. It does make me wonder why that is. Do you think the time ship has scared them away?”

The Doctor stopped and pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver and filled with some settings.

“Can you taste that? In the air… slightly metallic, almost a tangy, steely flavour. I think a magnetic shield has been used here recently, which means…”

He pointed the Screwdriver and t whirred into life. Slowly before them a ship began to fade into view. It was long and somewhat cylindrical laying flat on the ground, its silver exterior scorched and dented. An entrance hatch was swinging open in the light breeze.

“Oh no… it’s worse than I feared.” The Doctor’s eyes, wide with terror, worried Charley, true she had seen him afraid before but when he got like this that meant things really were bad.

“What is it Doctor?” she asked, taking his hand in hers. “Who does it belong to?”

“… A Time Lord.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

END OF EPISODE ONE

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:51 pm 
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oooh - like the ending there! As Charlie and the Doctor know, there's nothing worse than running into a Timelord - except running into more than one Timelord!

Very minor edits, just a few letters that got dropped here and there:
First paragraph "He felt such same inside, " probably shame, after your ------------------ "and ank the morning sun gods" probably thank, or maybe ask (unless they have an ank ritual, yet to be revealed :shock: )
The Doctor also filled with the sonic screwdriver settings, and might have been meant to fiddle with them instead.
"He pointed the Screwdriver and t whirred into life." - would be "it" whirred to life.


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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:53 pm 
Minotaur
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yep, your right!

should really spellcheck before i copy n paste

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:43 pm 
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He pointed the Screwdriver and it whirred into life. Slowly before them a ship began to fade into view. It was long and somewhat cylindrical laying flat on the ground, its silver exterior scorched and dented. An entrance hatch was swinging open in the light breeze.

“Oh no… it’s worse than I feared.” The Doctor’s eyes, wide with terror, worried Charley, true she had seen him afraid before but when he got like this that meant things really were bad.

“What is it Doctor?” she asked, taking his hand in hers. “Who does it belong to?”

“… A Time Lord.”

“But I thought you said that it wasn’t a TARDIS that threw us off course in the Vortex?”

“It’s not a TARDIS. Pop your head in there and it’s the correct size inside. This is a Veyron Warp Ship; they were outlawed by my people a long time ago. Remember I told you we monitor other species time experiments? The Veyrons were a sneaky lot; they tried to make out that their Warp Ships were near light speed craft, capable of near instantaneous travel. In reality they had an unstable core reactor that when tinkered with correctly could ensure a short hop through the vortex.”

Charley sat on a nearby fallen tree.

“So what makes you so sure it’s a Time Lord? Wouldn’t it be one of these Veyrons?”

Before the Doctor could answer, a blast of energy erupted next to him, hurling mounds of earth up into the air.

“RUN CHARLEY!” He cried, as they headed of into the tree line.

“That’s certainly not the natives!” Panted Charley, as she weaved in and out of the thick tree trunks. “Will we be safe in here?”

“Hopefully! The forest should provide adequate cover! There, do you see that foxhole? Jump!”

She leapt with all her might and dived into the hole in the ground. Overhead she could hear the Doctors footsteps as he ran straight past, trying to find cover of his own. More and more explosions could be heard from the energy blasts, the ground trembled with each and Charley could only pray the foxhole wouldn’t collapse in on her.

She decided to close her eyes and wait for the Doctor to come back for her. He would come back for her… wouldn’t he?

Her mind flashed back to when they first met, on board the ill-fated R-101 airship. The normal course of fate would have seen her killed when the ship went down. But the Doctor had saved her, fracturing the web of time. Together they had gone on such fantastic journeys, even setting right the events her existence had set in motion.

But if he died she would be left here, all alone on this alien world. She did not even know where this planet was in relation to Earth, was it close? Even so, the populous was so primitive there is no way they could even help send her home, and as for the TARDIS… well, not even the Doctor could pilot that accurately.

It dawned on her it was silent now. The energy bolts had ceased, either the Doctor had gotten away or….

She decided to climb out of the foxhole and see for herself. The mud was crumbling under her fingers and she couldn’t get a good grip.

“Great, now I can get out.” She sighed to herself.

She looked up as more mud tumbled down upon to be greeted by a hand reaching down to her. Unable to see its owner she had to decide whether or not to take it, and considering the only other option was to sit in a hole in the ground, she took the hand and was pulled out. Once she was free she saw her rescuer’s face. It was the native she and the Doctor had come across earlier. She started to back away slowly from him.

“While I thank you for saving me, I mean you no harm. Please just let me find my friend and we will leave you alone.”

The man did not say anything, but tried to gesture to her. His actions were pleading and none-threatening.

“What is it? You spoke before.” Charley asked. She stopped moving, confident that he wouldn’t hurt her. He pointed to his throat. A deep red scar now ran across it, clearly fresh.

“What happened? Did somebody hurt you?”

He nodded and tried to describe his attacker with his movements, unfortunately Charley could not understand them.

“I have a friend, do you remember him? He’s called the Doctor. If we can find him im sure he can help you. Do you understand?”

The native nodded and pointed ahead. Charley nodded her understanding and off they strode in the direction the Doctor had run.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor leaned against the tree panting hard, trying to catch his breath. He was used to running for his life but now, as he was getting older, he was starting to feel his age a little more. True, he was younger physically than he had been for a while, but inside he was feeling his age. He’s lost track of his exact age some time ago but definitely recalled his 800th birthday. The details were hazy now… something to do with Abe Lincoln and an invasion of Zygons.

“Come on you old fool, this is no time to feel sorry for yourself!” He whispered to himself before soldiering on. He knew there was someone out there he had to defeat, an evil on par with the Master. He was originally known as Rovarn, but to most modern Time Lords he was knows as The Aggregate. The Doctor had never met him but now, as he looked on in the moonlight, there he stood before him.

“House of Prydonia, isn’t it?” The Aggregate guessed.

“Once. You were a member of the Arcalian Chapter if im not mistaken.”

“Very good… either you have been doing your homework or im quite well known back on Gallifrey. How is the old home world?” He smirked

“Getting by,” replied the Doctor, “under the Presidency of Romanadvoratrelundar.”

“Not a name im familiar with. After my time, clearly, but then a lot of time has passed since I left.”

“It’s not too late Aggregate. Let me take you back to Gallifrey, stand before the council and explain your actions. Your ship will not stand another warp jump, I've seen it. Without me you are stuck here.”

“No! I refuse to go back there. If I am to remain here Doctor, then I shall mould as I see fit! These primitives will be easily bend to my whim.”

“But I’ve been to the future of this world after your involvement and it is dead. Some kind of war ravaged the planet and left it empty. From the looks of the blast marks I’d say it was the Daleks. Do you really want to be responsible for the deaths of every man woman and child to ever live on this world?” the Doctor was pleading now. No one need die if he can just reason with this madman.

“If that is what lies ahead for the creatures of this planet then so be it. I will face down the Dalek hordes alone and stand victorious!”

The Aggregate pulled back his cape and revealed a torso riddled with scars.

“These marks on my body,” he continued, “are victories I have collected along each of my years. In my time at the Temporal Research Academy, I discovered an anomaly in the Rassilon Imprimatur; it was possible to augment Time Lord DNA to incorporate the best attributes of other species.”

“And that is why you left Gallifrey? I know another who wanted to change his species beyond recognition. His name was Davros and he was insane!” The Doctor roared with intensity.

“You dare compare me to that paean? I am no mere Time Lord anymore… I am A GOD!”

The scars on The Aggregate’s body ripped open and a number of tentacles and extra limbs shot out towards the Doctor, wrapping around him in a vice like grip. He could feel his lungs being squeezed and forcing all the oxygen out of his body.

“I will not be stopped Doctor, I am invincible!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

END OF EPISODE TWO

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:38 pm 
Puce Guardian
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oooh squeezed by tentacled Time Lord. That's ... worse than the Dalek bumps, eh?


btw - is this your way of accounting for the Doctor's claiming to be 900 in post Time War regenerations? That Paul forgot about being 1100-1200 yrs old?


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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:00 am 
Minotaur
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Sort of in a way yes, but I think that was summed up best in the audio "Orbis" (set after this story, when 8 travels with Lucie) in this quote:

"And to be honest, I lost track of how old I really was aeons ago. I tend to round it down a bit, making a few adjustments for variations in year length across the cosmos. I could be four hundred years old, seven hundred, nine hundred; or in some parts of a partic-ularly obscure galaxy, I’d be just… two. But however old I am, I wasn’t born yesterday"

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 Post subject: Re: My latest fan fic
PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 12:02 pm 
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lol- that's pretty funny. To be honest, I found Lucy so annoying that I didn't pay as much attention to her eps. Tho I loved the whole Zygon Fell To Earth thing. (Explains their continuing interest in the music industry).


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